Why Sakura and Shikamaru are not Allowed to be Drunk or High Together
by LovelyOnyx
Summary: Or, the time the Rookie 11 got together, Shikamaru figured out time travel, and Sakura is the only one who understood what he said. T for swearing and drunken shenanigans.
1. Prologue

It started innocently, they both swear. Sakura was just hosting the monthly Rookie 11 get together, and everybody brought beer. Nobody planned on anything happening, beyond drunken friends and blackmail material. So how did Sakura and Shikamaru wake up hungover on top of a Hokage Mountain with only three faces on it, you ask? Well kids, they don't fucking know either.


	2. The Party that Started it

It had been a few months, now, since Kaguya and the chaos of rebuilding, and since then the Rookie 12- cut down to the Rookie 11 now, had made a tradition of throwing a monthly party- of sorts.

The first two had been. . . lackluster. Everybody was grieving, and Neji's death was an awful weight hanging in the air.

Of course, it didn't last too long into the third party before Tenten declared everybody was going to get drunk and have fun, damnit! So they did, and the next morning Sakura was with Tenten and Hinata, in a cuddle pile against the couch in Naruto's apartment, a hangover that felt like a warhammer beating at the inside of her skull and a sensitivity to light that would make flowers jealous. Maybe, if Sakura had recognized the sheer destructive force of her friends when drunk, she would have thought twice about offering to host the next one.

Sakura's house was small, but everybody fit better than they did at Naruto's, so nobody was complaining. Well, besides Shikamaru, but that's because Ino kept shouting at him for slouching. Once the various alcohols were pulled out, chaos started to unravel. It started with Tenten- who was still nursing her first drink and conpletely sober- betting Sasuke fifty ryo that he couldnt get Naruto convinced he was drunk off of a single glass of apple juice, and escalated from there.

Naruto, of course, believed Sasuke and was acting like a drunken idiot, wobbling and louder than normal, along with laughter at stupid things. Ino- Ino probably shouldn't be allowed to have anymore of that vodka, honestly. She'd drained around half the bottle, and even as decidedly tipsy as she was, Sakura knew that was a bad idea. Instead of saying something, however, she just finished her own drink and worried instead about Sai. His face was thoughtful, and he had that look in his eye that typically meant he had a bad idea involving his jutsu. Last time. . . had ended well. If your definition of 'ending well' meant no scared children. So she walked over to him, stole his drink and called Hinata over, since she didn't like drinking all that much. Sakura wanders, talking to everyone and drinking fro. Sai's liberated cup. She probably should have recognized that someone was constantly topping it up, but she was having fun and just. Didn't care. She doesn't remember who, exactly, pulled out the pot, but Shikamaru had gotten it.

Nope. Sakura was blaming Ino. Ino ran a flower shop, but she knew that it wasn't just flowers that were grown there. She remembers everybody else being unable to keep up with Shikamaru's ramblings, and Tenten sitting him down on the corner seat of the couch with a bag of food, and laying down on the floor and listening to him talk. After that, that's when things start getting blurry. She knows that Ino started screaming because Choji suplexed Naruto into her china cupboard, and then Shikamaru just running into the kitchen and coming back with a box of spaghetti noodles. She remembers this part fairly well, remembers him dumping a glass of water on Naruto's head, and pushing her off to the side even as she yelled at him to,

"Cut that shit out, Shika! I'm comfortable right here!!!" And no, she did not whine, she is a badass kunoichi and everybody knows badass kunoichi don't whine. And then- then he just fucking- dumped the noodles on the floor.

"Okay so-" he starts, but then Naruto is ready to interupt, and Shikamaru grabs his face and says, "Naruto, Nart, calm the fuck down, it's just apple juice! You arent drunk, but I sure as fuck am, and I figured out time travel." He points to the pasta scattered on Sakura's floor, eyes wide, "Those noodles? Those noodles are time. Get it?" Somehow, she does. For whatever reason, uncooked noodles being time makes sense, and she nods.

"Time is rigid, like the pasta! Shika, Shika, that's- that's so fucking smart!!!" Naruto still looks confused, and Sakura's slightly too drunk to explain it to him in any way that makes sense, but it does.

"Nart, Nart," Shikamaru has a noodle in his hand, and slowly tries to bend it. "If we try to time travel and time is rigid like the noodle, it'll just break!" And, of course the noodle breaks.

"I don't. . . I don't get it, 'ttebayo. What're you talking about?"

"Naruto, we have to cook time." Sakura understands all of it now, she does. They can fix everything, especially if Obito never got trapped. "Holy shit, holy fucking shit! Shika, we can save Obito, and Rin, and-and we can save you're parents, Naruto, and your clan Sasuke, holy fucking shit, we can save everybody." She can feel the huge ass grin on her face as she talks, and there just might be a matrix that would work for the seal, she just needs a field to draw it out. . .

"Shikamaru, let's go. Let's fix everything."

~-~-~-~-~- End Chapter One ~-~-~-~-~-

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